why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
