worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
