Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
drinking out of a sandbucket again
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
