if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
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