1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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