Pants 0. Shit 1.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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