i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
