Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Randomize
