I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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