i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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