I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
