I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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