he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I just gargled with NyQuil
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
