that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
Randomize
