Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
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