I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
