she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
It's just like the Real World with babies
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
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The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
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Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.