It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
