Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
These 27 C*ck Blocks Are Savage AF
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.