you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize