Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
I understand Curling. That high.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize