i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
