What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Good news!! I can adult!! π turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ππ
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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