just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
