You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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