if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
My dad just said "fuck circus"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
