Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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