You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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