Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Randomize
