No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize