I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Randomize
