Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize