i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Randomize
