when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
