You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
