no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Couch. On fire.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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