Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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