Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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