I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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