he wants to bone in the snuggie
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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