Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
