You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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