I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
