woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
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Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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