Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
