She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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