i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
