This is not my ceiling
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
