have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
