they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
