get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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