I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
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