I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Randomize
