"it" just moved
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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