He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Randomize
