C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
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