Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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