So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
