All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Randomize
