I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
