My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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