Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
