I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
