Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize