Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
My day in three words: secret purse cake
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
Randomize
