I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
My vagina just recognized that song.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
