The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I just want to make out with him forever
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
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