How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Randomize
