i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
She swung at the pinata with crutches
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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